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Is Sympathy a Good Thing or Not?

Symapthy

Sympathy or action?

Is sympathy always useful?

A bit of a controversial post which you may not all agree with. I’m asking the question “Is it always useful to keep people stuck in a an emotion or does solving the problem sometimes serve that person better?

I was reading a post by someone recently on Social Media recently and they had shown up as being a bit miserable and had posted to get some solutions. All they got was sympathy and eventually they said, “I’m not looking for sympathy”. They were looking for ways of getting out of that emotional state.

Have a watch of the video and let me know what you think. Sympathy or Solutions or a Mix of both?

The definition of Sympathy is “Feeling sorry for someone in a particular scenario” Which we all do at times. Do you think that it is always useful for people to be shown sympathy without any solutions being offered?

I’ve been brought up to get on with things and now, as an NLP Master Trainer and Breakthrough specialist, I help people to get rid of negativity and see the solutions and move on in their life, business or career. Often you notice people running the same patterns in their thinking, their emotions and their behaviour. They want certain results but can’t get them and then people offer sympathy rather than helping them to change the patterns to get different results.

What do you think?

If you are someone who want to help others in a practical way, then NLP training is for you. Here’s the link to have a look. If you are someone that wants to take charge of their life so that you have your  own solutions and are free and fulfilled, then let me know here and we can have a talk about what solutions I can help you with.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – offering you solutions rather than sympathy

Adversity – Does it stop you?

How do you react when adversity comes along?

Does it stop you?

Adversity

Adversity

One of the themes of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) focuses on whether you are getting results or giving yourselves reasons why you can’t do whatever it is.

I find there are so many people who come and see me, wanting to get unstuck, or get more success or happiness, that have a huge amounts of reasons and excuses why they can’t. Adversity can happen and it’s how you deal with it that matters – its about resilience.  A minor example is when I wanted to do the videos today, it was going to rain and be cloudy. And I feel as though I have a cold coming on. So I got my wellies and my umbrella and told my unconscious mind that it it wasn’t convenient to be unwell. I know what my goals are and part of them is spreading the word and supporting people to get unstuck and because of that, the videoing was going to happen no matter what.

Watch the video (sorry about the expression) and then ask yourself the questions underneath.

  • Do you have goals?
  • Do you have reasons or excuses why adversity gets in the way?
  • Are you resilient?
  • Whats stopping you – big things or small things?

If you know what they are and you can’t do anything about them consciously,  book a free session here so that we can clear the reasons and excuses and head you for your goals!  

Coming on an NLP course will help you to get rid of the reasons and excuses and become resilient, as well as giving you some amazing communication and resilience skills for your self and others. One of my Master Practitioner trainees has just landed a 7 book contract and has the opportunity to run retreats abroad in the next year! And a year ago she was unwell and not focusing on her future at all. It’s totally amazing watching her fly!

Express an interest in coming on a course here.

Until next week, set your goals and overcome the reasons and excuses!

Dr Bridget

Creating Time for your Future

Creating Time for Your Future

Creating Time

Creating Time

The results were amazing – there was a slight issue that needed to be tackled though and it was a fairly obvious one to me.

So my client was fully focused on increasing his business turn over by 10 fold after getting all of the negatives out of his head with a breakthrough intensive coaching session with me. It was obvious what was happening as he  was very tired as well as very busy (and well on his way to his target). When I started asking him specifics about the progress, it turned out that he had not taken time out to evaluate, plan and congratulate himself on a regular basis. He didn’t really know how much business he had brought in the previous week and how many new clients he had or even worked out a plan for the next week. And he couldn’t look after himself as well as he wanted because he was so busy. And this busyness, and the solution, applies to people wanting to be successful in a career, in a relationship and in life in general. Watch the video below and let me know what happens when you start to do this yourself.

Here’s my suggestion:
Work out when you can take an hour out of being busy in the week, on a regular basis, to get clarity and plan

  • Put it on your diary right now!
  • Get clarity about your goal
  • Decide what you are going to measure
  • Produce a plan for the next week and work out how you will monitor that
  • Think about your progress towards your goal
  • Treat yourself if you have done what you said you were going to do – something meaningful

Let me know how it goes and the insights that you have from doing this

If you are struggling, book a slot with me to talk about it – it may be what you’ve needed all along.

My Facebook closed group, called One Step Closer is also a place where you can discuss these issues with people who may be experiencing similar challenges.

See you next week

Dr Bridget

 

Is your base solid or wobbly?

Your Base- it is Solid or Wobbly?

Base

A great base

I recently want on a course about business growth and it was in this amazing building which has been mentioned in the doomsday book. It burned down and was rebuilt in the 1860s and is now an amazingly beautiful and grand building. And  I’d like to use this building as an example of something that has stood the test of time and although partially destroyed, has been rebuilt in the same style and is breathtakingly grand. I think of it as an analogy for us and our growth. When we were born, we got our base from our parents, our teachers and things that happened around us which gave us our core values. We then look towards role models and then towards our peers as we grow and develop our own style. However the core values are still there and even though things happen to us and we get burned or knocked down, the original structure is still there. This is our base which consists of our core values and our beliefs which have supported us throughout life. If we forget these and grow without remembering our solid base, we are more likely to fall down or destroy ourselves. We also need a growth plan – how we add to the base structure to keep growing and I have talked a lot in my blogs about the way that we want to be when we have grown- the outcomes that we want. Watch the video and have a think about what sort of base you have – is it useful or not?


If you are thinking that your core structure has been a bit wobbly and may need a bit of repairing in order for you to grow as you want and reach your full potential, let me know and book an appointment to talk to me by clicking here.

Have a look around my web site and check out my courses and my 1:1 coaching which will solidify and enhance the solidity of the structure you need to grow and become excellent in all areas of your life.

Until next week, keep on building and growing

Dr Bridget

How to make your weaknesses work for you

 How to Make your Weaknesses Work for You

Weaknesses

Strengths and Weaknesses

I was quite surprised when I found out what my strengths are and also it enabled me to do some work on what things that work less well for me. Here’s a link to my strengths video and a video on my weaknesses below. They are about self care and organisation.

I’m pretty determined to work with my weaknesses so that they become strengths and help me get my goals.

If I look after myself and become organised, I’m pretty sure that this will help me hugely and I’ve known that for a long time. So I’m on a clean food diet and also have committed to spending 1/2 hour a day tidying the house and office

Let me know your weaknesses and how you are going to turn them around. Let me know if you’d like me to help you in any way by ringing 07973 635102 or contacting me here.

I’m running a Master Mind group in January which would be of help if you are in the S Wales area and will be running an on-line mastermind group soon – watch this space!

Until next week – turn them into strengths!

Dr Bridget

Do You Have Internal Conflict? This is one of the causes

One of the most common causes for internal conflict is something called PARTS ( in NLP terminology)

Mental Conflict

Internal Conflict

Just like you, I have faced internal battles. I remember sitting in front of my computer with this battle in my head going “part of me wants to be successful but part of me wants to do nothing at all”. I’d just started my NLP coaching business and I was struggling. Luckily, I was able to resolve this issue with my coach quite quickly.

Now, it is my role to help people with this internal struggle, and I want to share the cause for this common problem with you and raise awareness of this solvable problem.

In NLP, this conflict is known as “Parts”, because it is as if we have two parts to ourselves, which want different things. It usually arises from a significant negative emotional event which is either one big event or several small ones fairly close together.

For example, a recent client found herself in this battle after having just been made redundant following a complaint, losing her dad about the same time and having one of her children spend a week in hospital with a serious illness. All these negative events had caused part of her to steer away from her want to be successful in her new business, and focus on the want of some peace in her life. That is when she came to me for help.

I helped her put the conflict to rest and focus on what she really wanted.

“Parts” have their own personality and are generally formed to help protect you, but in doing so, they can cause conflicts with other parts of your brain – a sort of Mental Tug of War.

In this week’s Prescription for Success video below, I discuss ‘parts’ and the effects internal conflict can have.

If you want to talk about any type of internal conflict that may be stopping you from gaining success in your life or your business, then give me a call on 07973 635102 or 01656 347027. Or click here to fill out a form and I’ll be in touch very quickly.

If you are interested in this topic and NLP, I run NLP Practitioner courses, where you can learn how to not only resolve this issue for yourself, but for others too. Click here for more info on my NLP Practitioner courses.

Part of me would like to keep writing the blog and part of me wants to get some lunch so, until next time, go for what you want in life!

Dr. Bridget

Don’t stress it!

stress-blogStress is extremely common. It can have physical and psychological effects which generally ‘bring you down’.

Life can be stressful. Whether it’s work, family or money worries, we all have a lot going on in our lives, so it’s no surprise we feel burnt out from time to time. But stress is not good for our emotional state.

Generally, people don’t take measures to reduce stress.  And whilst you can’t stop stress completely, you can learn how to notice the signs and help yourself overcome it. Here are my top tips:

  1. Deep breaths

If you are feeling completely overwhelmed, being able to take your mind out of the situation even for a few minutes can help you relax and gain clarity. When we are anxious or stressed our breathing becomes quick and shallow. Give your breathing your full attention, concentrating on each breath in and out. Take your time to breath in deeply for a count of 7, hold and breath out for a count of 11. Repeat this process until you feel more calm.

  1. Be kind to yourself

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. Our inner voices can be mean and hurtful. It’s important to recognise this and ensure you are positively reinforcing yourself and how you feel. Treat yourself with kindness, negative thoughts are extremely unhelpful and can do more damage. Tell yourself you’re in control and you’re able to deal with the situation!

  1. Don’t allow yourself to become a victim

Things happen that are out of our control, but by asking “why me?” or “what have I done to deserve this?” only places yourself as a victim. This increases stress and suggests you are unable to change the situation. Instead, recognise this negative thing has happened but tell yourself you are able to turn it around and change it.

  1. Say ‘No’

Not wanting to say no to people is very common. A lot of people have a problem with it as they don’t want to upset someone or let them down. But sometimes you have to put yourself before others. It is impossible to please everyone and trying to do so is a fast track to stress. By saying ‘no’ you are not being selfish, you are just looking after yourself and your mental health. Be honest with people and they will understand.

If you are struggling with stress and feeling unhappy, contact me and I’ll help you overcome your anxiety and emotional state, allowing you to find happiness and at peace with yourself. Click here to book a FREE consultation or call me on: 07973 635102

3 Reasons to Be Authentic and What Happens if you are not

What are 3 reasons to be authentic?

And what is the impact of not being authentic?

ARe you being who you want to be?

Authentic

Most of my blogs are inspired by clients, and this week I took inspiration from a client who felt that the image that they portrayed to others wasn’t really who they were. So, they decided to do something about it!

They felt that when they weren’t being authentic, they weren’t at ease, they felt out of place and therefore this was rubbing off on their business and their success levels.

If you are not feeling at ease with yourself internally and what you are portraying to the outside world, then this attitude will be projected. The dis-ease will affect other people and they will be less attracted to you and working/interacting with you. This rejection can then lead to self-doubt and confusion, which is never good, therefore it needs a fix as soon as possible. And the only fix is being authentic and true to yourself!

The 3 main reasons to be authentic are:

  • Feeling at ease and happy with yourself
  • Feeling more confident
  • This happiness and positivity will be projected and you will see more success in your life, business or career

For me personally, it has taken a while to figure out who I think I am and be that person, and I certainly feel uncomfortable if I’m not living in line with my core values and beliefs, and if I allow my boundaries to be crossed.

In this week’s video, which you can find just below, I discuss one of my clients who is whole heartedly himself and doesn’t fit into the stereotype his job sometimes has or how other people expect him to be. He decided that to be authentic and jump out of a plane for charity, from which he rediscovered the buzz that had been missing from his life.

I would like to thank my client, Martin, for agreeing to share his experience – and I’m sure you agree, that he is being himself and is proud of it.

If you think that you are being who other people want you to be rather than who you want to be, make a decision to find out exactly who you are and what is important to you.

It is ok to be yourself and you will lead a much happier life if you do just that.

If you are struggling to find you, or if you know who you are but struggling to portray it and would like some help becoming authentic, give me a ring on 01656 347027 or 07973 635102.

You can also click here to fill in a form and we can arrange a FREE consultation.

If you are feeling stuck – check out the rest of my website to find out how I can help.

Until next time, just be you!

Dr. Bridget

 

Letting go of guilt

letting_go_of_guiltGuilt can come in many different shapes and forms, it can be rational and irrational, it can come from something you have physically done or even because you feel a certain way. But ultimately guilt is driven from self-hatred.

We do something we regret, we say something that hurts or offends someone, we make a mistake. Then we get lost in the should-haves, could-haves and self-judgement.

To a certain extent we get addicted to the guilt, thinking that constantly beating ourselves up over the mistake will somehow absolve us of that negative experience – but instead we are just torturing ourselves.

Many of us feel guilt from things we did or didn’t do for ourselves – “I didn’t get enough work done” or “I shouldn’t have eaten that” – and our minds trick us into thinking that anger and guilt is a good motivator. But none of these everyday outcomes deserve our own self-judgement and guilt.

Guilt can become all-consuming and hold you back from reaching your full potential, it acts as an anchor to the past, telling you, you don’t deserve to be happy. But everyone deserves to be happy. Learning how to let go of guilt and forgive yourself can be fantastically freeing. It teaches you to choose self-love over self-hate and be more compassionate towards yourself.

Change is never easy but I can help and support you through the process. If you are ready to let go of the guilt holding you back, click here to book a FREE consultation or call Dr. Bridget on 07973 635102

Is guilt holding you back?

Is guilt holding you back?

Guilt - usful or not?

Is guilt holding you back?

I’ve helped quite a few people recently who were allowing guilt to hold them back.

Until they came to see me, they felt stuck and unable to break free and it was affecting their happiness and confidence.

If this is something that you, or someone you know is suffering from, then please point them in my direction – in this blog I am going to discuss how to move forward.

It may be a controversial view but, to me, guilt is more about other people than about you. If you have been doing the best that you can and you have been using the resources that you have available to you, then its more about other people’s model of the world, or society’s model of the world, and their projection of that onto you.

Perhaps you’ve behaved in a way that other people haven’t liked or didn’t expect, as long as you weren’t aiming to upset people, you have done nothing wrong. Everyone has a different view and model of the world because they have been brought up differently and we have different values and beliefs. This can, let’s face it, make people judgmental of other people’s views if they don’t align with their own. But what is important to remember here is, that other people may not like what you do or who you are, BUT that’s ok!

Perhaps, you could apologise for upsetting them and explain that wasn’t your intention, but then you need to move on! And let go! Don’t carry the guilt passed on by them with you.

For a more in-depth look into the issue of guilt watch the video below where Dr Bridget discusses this:

If you need help moving on from negative events in the past that have caused you to feel stuck, give me a ring on 01656 347027 or click here to fill in a contact form. We can arrange a FREE consultation to discuss your issues and find a way for you to move forward and reach your full potential.

Sometimes our unconscious mind needs help to move on.

Honestly, life is for living, not for being stuck in negative emotions such as guilt!

Until next time,

Dr. Bridget

 

How to change your emotional state – fast!

Emotional state change

Change your emotional state

Changing your emotional state fast – some easy ways to do this

My state of tiredness usually comes on at the end of the day and it has a number of negative effects on my behaviour. Some of these are:

  • I collapse on sofa and have regrets in the morning from not being proactive the evening before
  • I procrastinate and put things off that need to be done
  • I drink more wine than I should in the hope that it will give me more energy (applies to sugary foods as well)
  • I argue and I am irritable with the dog, cat and husband
  • I fail to ring friends and my mum – sorry mum!

Our emotional state affects our physiology, our behaviour and the results we are trying to achieve. In this week’s video I explain the importance of having a positive emotional state and why it is worth making a conscious effort to change ours. I even show you ways in which you can change yours – and quickly!

We can change our emotional state in many ways and in my video below I show you just a few of the ways that I like to change mine – it’s a bit embarrassing! But it really is helpful!

If you are struggling to change your emotional state and feel stuck in a rut and like you can’t move forward, give me a ring on 01656 347027. We can have a chat about what’s causing it and what you could change to make a difference.

If you want a longer explanation and deeper look at changing your emotional state have a look at one of my previous videos: “how you get results”  – it will be able to help you fully understand.

When you are having a down day, how do you change your emotional state? If you are able to talk about it let me know in the comments, I would love to hear about them!

Until next time – good luck changing negatives to positives,

Dr. Bridget

Why Personal Breakthrough Therapy? What Could It Do for You?

Do you ever feel like you’re being held back from reaching your goals or your full potential?

Do you feel like you’re stuck and not progressing forward in life or business?

Our daily lives are constantly piling new frustrations upon us that can mentally and emotionally restrict us. This can happen because of the state of our relationships, lack of belief in ourselves or even as a result of what is happening in the world around us. This pain and upset can mean you miss out on your dreams and goals in life and business.

Personal Breakthrough Therapy is a great way to tackle the mental obstacles and emotional baggage holding you back. Think of it as a spring-cleaning of the mind It allows you to gain a higher level of peace in your mind, stops the negative chatter and therefore allows you to experience more joy and fulfilment in all areas of life.

Transformation and healing is more achievable than most people believe. By working through your emotional stress and connecting more fully with who you are, , you can live a more inspired and proactive life where you are in charge of the results that you want.

It doesn’t matter who you are, or what you feel is holding you back, Personal Breakthrough Therapy can work for you! It can:

  • Change how you handle stress
  • Help prevent against burn out or aid recovery
  • Help with difficult life changes and transformations
  • Build self-confidence and help you overcome fears and anxiety
  • Rid you of self-doubt, lack of motivation, internal conflicts and limiting beliefs
  • Help you reach your highest performance level, be that in business, sport or life

Personal Breakthrough Therapy is a highly effective and fast, using a range of coaching and therapy techniques. It’s designed to make a shift in your life and quickly! Unlike other therapies its approach allows it to be quite fun and relaxed whilst working on your unconscious processes that are the root of most issues.

Become the ‘real you’ and reach your full potential – invest in yourself and reap the benefits for a life time. If you would like to discuss becoming unstuck, contact Dr. Bridget or book a FREE session and begin the change process.

Significant changes happen in just a few hours and Dr Bridget provides a guarantee. There are very few coaches who have Dr Bridget’s medical experience and coaching skills and give that guarantee.

Dr Bridget is passionate about supporting people and, as an ex GP and Neuro Linguistic Programming Coach and Trainer, is uniquely situated to provide a quick prescription to help you get to your full potential.

Until next time – take control of your future,

Dr. Bridget