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A Christmas Message and Review of Your Year

A tool to review your year (and a Christmas song)

Happy Christmas – and Nadolig Llawen – That’s Welsh

Review of the Year

Review of the Year

I want to thank all of you who have been clients or have watched my videos over the last year! It’s been fun! And whatever you are doing over the next 2 weeks, make the most of it!

Today I have an offer for you and a tool to review your  year. The basis of the tool is using neurological levels (a Robert Dilts tool) It is also based on what went well and what went less well

Watch the video and then work through the levels and think about what action you would like to take to make next year even better!

Click on this link to get the review tool Review of the year

LEVELS

  • Environment – what’s surrounding you – things and people. Do you need to change your environment?
  • Behaviour – what so you want do more of and less of?
  • Capabilities and skills – what have you used that worked well and what have you forgotten about or need to refine?
  • Values – what motivates you and are you “ticking” your values?  Here’s a link to elicit your values from a chapter in my book. Make sure that you are ticking your values rather than those of other people
  • Beliefs – are your beliefs empowering or limiting – what can you do to make sure they are empowering for next year?
  • Identity – who are you – are you showing up as yourself or not?
  • Purpose – what are you on the planet for – do you know? My purpose is to enjoy every minute of my life and that’s whay I work with you all as I enjoy it and it’s making a huge difference to both mine and others’s life.

Offer – If you are struggling I will do a one hour coaching session with you to talk about your review of the year – go to my contact page and fill in the form or book an appointment.

I hope you enjoyed the song on the video – thats me being me! It seemed appropriate as I’m the Chief Unsticker.

If you are stuck or know someone who is stuck get in touch so that next year is totally what you want it to be.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – helping  you review your potential

 

 

How to Improve Remembering – top tips

Top Tips for Remembering

rememberingWe are learning every hour, every day, every conversation and I suspect that we don’t practice remembering the things that are useful to remember.

Life goes on and there are so many opportunities to learn. Sometimes we read things on-line, hard copy books, kindle books and we also listen to audios and watch things on social media. And we have many conversations. And we all learn in different ways. Watch the video below and then decide if you are going to follow my tip to remember effectively.

Ebbinghaus in 1885 published his forgetting curve hypothesis. He said that memory is not durable and that we forget things we learn in as little as an hour and, certainly by a day we’ve lost over 50% of these things. He also talks about how to keep your memory strong so that we can retain it for longer. I was running a mastermind group on this very topic last week and we concluded that learning material is so readily available to us on-line that maybe we make less effort to retain what we read or listen to.

We all committed to writing down the main 3 things that we learn every time we read or listen to something or have a conversation with someone.

If we did that then, we would increase the amount of time that we remembered things.

TIP – Write down 3 important things that you have learned after every reading, listening or conversation.  Go back over what you have learned, that is important to you to retain, at the end of every day, or whatever time scale is practical to you.

Dr Bridget- remembering myself to you!

See you next week

P.S you can access a free session with me to have a conversation and find out how I can help you

 

Understanding People Pleasing

People Pleasing

People pleasing doesnt work

Be yourself

This is a really important symptom that I come across regularly on courses and with my one to one clients. They come to me because they realise that that they are not being themselves and that has lots of consequences for them as you will find out when you watch  the video below:

Let’s face it – it is nice to be liked and to be kind and nice to people, isn’t it? However, if it stops you getting your goals and feeling as though you can’t be yourself, then that is a problem. It usually comes from a desire to be liked and included which is often very strong. People want to be in a community and to be respected and liked. They want to belong.

I often find that there are root causes in people’s past that cause people to overdo people pleasing – Do any of the below apply to you or someone you know?

  • Not being listened to when you were growing up
  • Having to hide due to circumstances around you
  • Being bullied
  • A feeling of having to keep the peace when growing up – perhaps your parents arguing or drinking
  • A feeling of guilt if  your parents marriages folded – did I do enough- was it my fault- I didn’t try hard enough
  • Being criticised or not praised during your life
  • And many other events

All the negative emotions that come from incidents above have an impact. As we know, our unconscious mind is there to protect us and we carry on people pleasing as a result. It leads to a feeling of worthlessness, confusion and hurt and these feelings stop us from reaching our full potential, being who we want to be, doing what we want to do and having what we want to have.

It can be a difficult habit to break unless you get help from someone like myself. The wiring that causes us to people please, to our detriment, can be reversed very quickly with Time Line therapy (R)

What can we do about this?

  1. Put your own oxygen mask on – you can’t help others unless you help yourself!
  2. Notice when you are people pleasing and the impact that it has on you and your feelings, actions and your goals
  3. Remind yourself that there are root causes for this – you may know what they are or you may not but there will always be one- a decision that you made at some stage in your life that you have to keep people happy.
  4. Decide to be happy and to be yourself
  5. Surround yourself with people who will support you

If you find  you can’t resolve this and you want to resolve this, then get in touch with me to take advantage of a free call.

My NLP Training courses and my one to one coaching will solve this problem and others like it for you and you can then live the life that you want to live – after all, we only have one life.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – Helping you put your own oxygen mask on

 

Be happy, be yourself, If not give me a call

Delegation- the Reasons to Do It

Delegation – Reasons to do it

Delegation

Delegation

Delegation is very much about mind set. We often get to the stage where we are overwhelmed because of our success or our “busyness” or because of our worry about giving things to other people:

 

  • Will they do a good job?
  • Will they do it as I want to do it?
  • Will it have an effect on my business in a bad way?
  • What if I don’t reach my target because it all goes wrong?

And here’s the thing – Not delegating can cause us to take our eye of the goals that we want to achieve because we can’t focus and we get ineffective.

And it can stop us living in our zone of genius- a term from the book called “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks – a highly recommended read.

I often talk about this in my mastermind groups because as people and businesses grow and life gets really busy, it’s something that can help people to take a step back and think more about their life and business and just create that space to flourish.

Sometimes people have delegated in the past – myself included- and it’s not worked out. And it can put  you off.

Sometimes we delegate the wrong things and don’t realise until it has gone wrong.

Have a watch of the video beow and then use the tool that I have given you below


I have attempted many times to delegate and now delegate my account, some of my Social Media, my videoing, my web tasks – oh and the cooking! It has taken some time and been painful , but I have now grown my business by finding the right people to do these things.

So if you think that you want to do or should delegate, there are 3 things to ask yourself:

  1. What shouldn’t I be doing?
  2. What can’t I do?
  3. What don’t I want to do?

Brainstorm the answers to these three things and then pick one thing to delegate this month and just do it.

If you are struggling to do this becuase your unconscious mind, which is there to keep you safe is bipping away in your ear going “It will all go wrong”, “I can’t trust other people”, or No-one does it as well as me”, then book a free half hour session or send me a message on my contact page and let’s talk about it!

Go from Overwhelm to underwhelm and Freedom

Go from  Lack of focus to being totally Focused

Go from Doubt and stuck to Certainty and Freedom

Go from Not reaching your Goals to Reaching your Goals

Until next week,

Dr Bridget, delegating your success to you!

How to Reflect at This Time of the Year

Reflection at This Time of the Year

Reflection

Reflection

I am conscious that festive times can be a tough time for some people, so get in touch if this is you. ( I mean that).

However, its also a great time to celebrate, reflect and get ready for a new phase starting in the New year. I refrained from singing this year but you can see last years song here if you really want to – take a deep breath 1st!

I’m going to meet relatives today and then head off to see my family tomorrow. I’m also planning my on-line group for the New Year. Its called STRETCH and is about Personal Growth for Business Success. Let me know if you want details- the web page is about to be published.

It is also time when you can reflect in the quiet periods between now and the New year so I thought it would be useful to give you a framework to do that. Watch the video and then look at the questions below.


Here are the questions:

  • What have you learned this year?
    • About yourself
    • About others
    • About the various parts of your life – health career, relationships and so on
  • What are you going to celebrate this year?
    • What went really well?
    • What can you be grateful for?
  • What are you going to change going forward?
    • About yourself?
    • About  your relationships with others?
    • About your plans?

I have learned that I can do things on my own although I like to work with others, that I am resilient and can put boundaries in place when my values are not met

I’m celebrating a big growth in my business and the people that I have trained and have helped to reach their full potential.

Next year I will be growing my training and coaching business and surrounding myself with fun and people who I have fun with. I will also be practicing self care which will take many forms – I feel a future blog coming on!

Let me know what you have learned, will celebrate and will change.

I’ve got some really interesting questions for you in the next blog so have a rest, do some reflection and I’ll catch up with  you next week.

Dr Bridget – reflecting on 2018

P.S If you want to work with me next year, Id be delighted and thrilled. here are the links to find out more:

NLP training

Breakthrough Coaching

On- line mastermind group STRETCH – Personal Growth for Business Success – leave me a message from the contact page

Role Models – A Different Perspective

Role Models – A Different Perspective

Role Model

Role Model

I was recently running an NLP Master Practitioner course and we were talking about modelling – this is where NLP has come from – Modelling excellence. Its a key part of the course. Click here for more information about NLP courses

We do a project on my Master Practitioner course  where we model a skill that someone has, by eliciting that person’s values, beliefs and strategies and then installing these in ourself – a much quicker way of effecting change than being taught.

Unusually, people on the course were struggling with who to have as a Role Model and I had to agree – I don’t  really have one myself (apart from Princess Di). I spent some time wondering who I respected enough to want to change to become like them.

And then I had a light bulb moment – I thought that perhaps I could become my own Role Model and become one for other people. It led to a consideration of what qualities I would like to have that other people and myself might respect- have a watch of the video and then answer the questions below it for yourself.

The qualities that I’d like to improve or develop in myself are:

  • Having an interest in people and things- doing pretty well with this
  • Making a difference to people- definitely something that’s key for me and I am doing that
  • Being myself, which includes making sure I “tick” my values, keep my boundaries, as and the same time, be flexible to enable other people’s models of the world- I’m mainly doing this
  • Taking action and being determined- doing this most of the time
  • Self care – important in my journey through this life and something that I’ve been working on this year

Next year, I want to improve my capability to ask for help – I think this is part of self-care and not something that comes easily to me. It would make a huge difference to my life and a behaviour that I encourage in my clients – so I’m committing to do that. It will make me a better Role Model

Questions for you:

  • What qualities would you look for in yourself, to be your own and others’ Role Model?
  • What would you change to get these (if anything) ?
  • Is it OK to be a Role Model for yourself and others?

Once you have decided whether you need to change anything, post in the comments, and as always, let me know here if you need to talk through anything.

Until next week

Dr Bridget – being the best Role Model I can be.

 

Does Labelling Yourself Affect Your Results?

Labelling yourself – does it help?

labellling

What’s your Label?

Labelling is needed to cope with the vast amount of information that we have coming into our senses. If we don’t label things, we don’t know how to deal with them or what sort of behaviour we need to do to go with the label. However it sometimes is unhelpful to label things or yourself – as this blog will show you.

I was recently working with someone who had some challenges with his mindset for success, relating to things that has happened to him previously in his life. We had got rid of his negative emotions and he was doing well. However, what we hadn’t dealt with was that his dad was a hard worker and my client had labelled himself as a type A personality. Hard working, striving, life imbalance and tendency to over-react sort of sums up the characteristics of an A type personality.

So he determinedly  labelled himself as an A person and therefore his behaviour went with that and eventually he hit a brick wall and spent 6 weeks in bed. It was very upsetting to hear about it, for his wife, his kids and his associates.

When we talked it became obvious that he was having a big conflict. Part of him thought he was an A type personality and  part of him wanted to be a B type personality – much more laid back and relaxed. This conflict got bigger and bigger and he eventuallly hit that brick wall. Watch the video where I talk about this conflict

As we explored the conflict, he realised that he could acually do both and that the purpose of the brick wall was to protect him while he sorted out the conflict.

Using an NLP technique called Parts Integration which gets rid of the conflict, he has now rediscovered his mojo and is enjoying his business and a balanced life.

I’d like to ask you:

Have you labelled yourself as anything unhelpful?

If so, have a careful think about it and either relabel yourself give me a ring if you are struggling with internal conflict.

Until next week, have a balance in your life!

Dr Bridget

Adversity – Does it stop you?

How do you react when adversity comes along?

Does it stop you?

Adversity

Adversity

One of the themes of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) focuses on whether you are getting results or giving yourselves reasons why you can’t do whatever it is.

I find there are so many people who come and see me, wanting to get unstuck, or get more success or happiness, that have a huge amounts of reasons and excuses why they can’t. Adversity can happen and it’s how you deal with it that matters – its about resilience.  A minor example is when I wanted to do the videos today, it was going to rain and be cloudy. And I feel as though I have a cold coming on. So I got my wellies and my umbrella and told my unconscious mind that it it wasn’t convenient to be unwell. I know what my goals are and part of them is spreading the word and supporting people to get unstuck and because of that, the videoing was going to happen no matter what.

Watch the video (sorry about the expression) and then ask yourself the questions underneath.

  • Do you have goals?
  • Do you have reasons or excuses why adversity gets in the way?
  • Are you resilient?
  • Whats stopping you – big things or small things?

If you know what they are and you can’t do anything about them consciously,  book a free session here so that we can clear the reasons and excuses and head you for your goals!  

Coming on an NLP course will help you to get rid of the reasons and excuses and become resilient, as well as giving you some amazing communication and resilience skills for your self and others. One of my Master Practitioner trainees has just landed a 7 book contract and has the opportunity to run retreats abroad in the next year! And a year ago she was unwell and not focusing on her future at all. It’s totally amazing watching her fly!

Express an interest in coming on a course here.

Until next week, set your goals and overcome the reasons and excuses!

Dr Bridget

Are You in the Waiting Room?

Are you in the Waiting Room?

I was in the doctors surgery the other day and it took me back to my GP days where people did a lot of waiting. They used to wait to have their symptoms diagnosed, wait for prescriptions and drugs and then wait for blood results. And sometimes they’d get fed up and take some sort of action, whether that was to knock on the doctors door or speak to a receptionist or to leave feeling frustrated. And it occurred to me that there are a lot of people that I know who are just waiting for something- clients, potential clients, people in business , people in relationships or careers. Could you be one of them?

So people wait for:

  • The right time
  • The right mindset
  • Inspiration
  • The right support
  • And many other things

And here’s the thing, if this applies to you, then what you are waiting for is in charge of you and your results, rather than you being in charge of your results. An interesting thought, don’t you think?

Have a watch of the video where I talk about this and get in touch if you need any help.

So I always ask people who feel stuck or are waiting:

  • Are you prepared to take action?
  • Are you prepared to let go of all the reasons and excuses that are stopping you from getting what you really want?
  • How long have you been stopping  yourself from achieving what you want in your life, business, career?
  • What is it costing you to keep waiting? in money terms and in emotions?

The thing is, it doesn’t take long to let go of any limitations to your progress when you work with me- in fact it can happen in as little as a day.

If you want to understand yourself and the obstacles that you are putting in your way, get in touch with me and we can start that journey.

So are YOU prepared to stop waiting?

If so then get in touch with me. I can help you get out of the waiting room and into the getting results room very quickly!

Until next week

Dr Bridget

 

 

How to Enjoy Every Minute of Your Life

Enjoy

Enjoy every minute

Hello! I really enjoy doing weekly prescriptions for you – its about me enjoying every minute of my life and helping you to do the same. After all, we only have One Life and if you’re not enjoying yours, I am here to help you sort that out ( if you are committed to making a change of course- its amazing how many people know they need to make a change and don’t take any action).

To me, enjoyment is about alignment and this blog is about enabling you to make changes where you need to. Robert Dilts has given us a model to help make these changes which is called neurological levels. The basis of this is that you can make changes at any level in order to enjoy our life or sort out challenges and this video explains more. have a watch and then think about what you would like to change – big changes or small changes for a purpose. I talk more about the levels below the video so watch it and listen to me talking about the levels for you and myself.

 


The levels are:

  • Environment
  • Behaviour
  • Skills and Knowledge
  • Values and beliefs
  • Identity
  • Purpose

Environment Can you make any changes in your environment? If you do did, how would that affect your life? I have an ongoing tidying challenge which I’m working on as we speak. Unfortunately, one of my clients has just told me that that a high IQ is related to being untidy. (There goes that excuse then). Could you move furnotire, surround yourslef with different people or get yourself a space to reflect and think?

Behaviour Are you behaving in a way that enables you to enjoy yourself?. If not, how can you change that behaviour? Remember that Einstein’s definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results!

Skills and Knowledge What skills do you have that you are not using? What skills do you need to learn to help you to enjoy your life?

Values and beliefs Are you living in line with whats important to you? Do you have empowering beliefs about yourself? A lot of my clients don’t feel good enough or worthy and this is affecting their enjoyment of life. If that’s you – let’s have a chat because it is easily changed.

Identity Who are you? Who do other people think you are? Are you happy with your identity and does it help you to enjoy every minute of your life?

Purpose This is a really big question! What do you feel that  you are on the planet to do? My purpose if to enjoy every minute of my life. When I think about that, a picture of me in my red car with the roof down driving along with great music playing pops into my mind. How about you? What are you here to do and what symbol pops into your mind? A client recently has had a medieval knight pop into his mind-  as he sees himself as on a journey , helping others and being respected and respecting others- a great image and purpose!

The thing is, once you know what your purpose is, you can align yourself to it and it then becomes easier to make the changes so that you enjoy every minute of  your life. If you feel as though you can’t make changes, get in touch for a free 1/2 hour chat. I help people with individual coaching and also with NLP training – a great personal development opportunity.

Until next week-  Make sure you enjoy every moment!

Dr Bridget

When it all gets too much!

Is it All Too Much?

Recently a client was due to meet me and didn’t turn up (unusual) and it turned out that she had fallen asleep-her brain had just given up because there was just too much in her head. The issue was that she had too much in her head.

She had done some amazing work in breakthrough coaching with me and on NLP courses and was “transitioning” to doing what she really wanted to do. And of course there was still a mortgage to pay, bills to pay and holidays to take. It was all buzzing round in here head and it all got too much.

Watch the video to listen to what we talked about and the read about the tips I gave her underneath the video.

Make sure you have watched the video to get the tips in more detail.

Tip 1
Think about the bigger purpose of what you are doing and just check that your actions still tick your purpose

Tip 2
Do a brain dump to get things out of your head – write down absolutely everything that you have to do in any part of your life. Don’t judge the list -it may run to 3-4 pages. You can then start to group and prioritise

Tip 3
Get into peripheral vision -there is an explanation of how to do that on the video
It cuts down your negative chatter and you feel calm

Tip 4
Step out of your body and “watch yourself -like a fly on the wall” you’ll be amazed at much information you’ll get about what you are doing. It’s a dissociated state and therefore any negative emotions will disappear

If it’s all too much for you then book a free appointment to talk to me and become calm and focused on what you want in your life, business, career. Because you are worth it and I’d like to support you in your journey.

Here’s a  link to the Work With Me page and my next NLP course is 19-22nd October 2018 plus 9-12th November 2018. A truly life changing course with 2 spaces left!

Catch up next week

Dr Bridget

How to get Positive People into Your Life

Positive People

Hi everyone – let me ask you some questions:

  • Are you sitting there thinking that you are too busy to meet up with positive people who would support you in your life, business or career?
  • Do you have people surrounding you that are mood hoovers and drag your mood down?
  • Are you making excuses to avoid going out  and getting that support which would help you to be positive, motivated and full of energy?

This is what I think –  I could be sitting doing my business, writing blogs, seeing clients or people that are interested in me supporting them and, as a result, forget to interact with positive people.  I don’t in general have people who lower my mood around me as I have taken action to either change them to positive support or removed them from my life – sounds a bit harsh doesn’t it – but its part of keeping myself in a good space. Here’s a link to my ABCD tool coaching video which helps you to “sort” the people around you.

Watch this video and then take any action that you need to to.

So what is your gut feeling about your positive support? Do you need more or do you have the right people around you?

If you need more, who would they be? Get a piece of paper and start to make a list. Watch the ABCD coaching video on my Mindset for Success course. You can test people out to see if they are truly supportive or not.

Make a list of what you want to talk to people about and run past them and also what you can do for them.

If you need any positive support and would like to interact with me on a regular basis book an appointment to talk to me and also join my closed FB group called One Step Closer by clicking here.

It makes all the difference!

Until next week, go find and find those people and let me know how you are doing.

And if you want more tools to support you to get success, then find out more about my Mindset for Success course which gives you so much more and is till at an introductory price.

Dr Bridget