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Locking things away – Are You Doing It?

Locking Things Away – Do you do it?

I’m talking about this today because a lot of people are doing it and either are aware they are doing it or are not aware. And I’ve made a video about it below because it’s this thing that leads to a fear of failure or success and cause self sabotage, confusion and frustration! I’ve been running an NLP Practitioner course over the last few days and also working intensively with people in business and I often hear people say “I’m locking things away in a box, I’ve put it to the back of my mind or I’ve closed it off! And they often gesture to the place where it is.

The client that I’ve been working with recently has given me permission to share her box with you. The Closed Pandora's Boxbox  has been closed for many years and has recently started to open. The unconscious mind works really hard to protect us and this is why we lock “stuff” away. Then, when it becomes too uncomfortable or we become aware of the consequences, the unconscious mind throws it into our consciousness to resolve the issues. In this case, there were many things, some of them painful, that were in her box, and the reason she is now working with me is her certainty that the box is open, painful and needs to be sorted. She now realises what the consequences are of an open box and is doing something about it. The consequences are many thousands of pounds and much stress and sleepless nights. This is her open  box Open Pandora's Boxand I expect some of you have similar things in your box. This is going to be sorted out in the next two days, so get in touch if you have a box – this is a link for a free session http://bit.ly/talktoDrB

 

Till next time

Dr Bridget

 

Perfectionism – What Causes it and How To Stop Doing It

Perfectionism – understanding how it happens

 

Perfectionism

It doesn’t work

It’s been a really interesting day – I’ve been meaning to write this for some time as it’s a common problem –  perfectionism! And here’s what happened to me today that links to this prescription:

I’ve recently discovered Blab which is a SM channel to do talks and interviews and the lady that helped me to write my book – Jacquie Malpass – wanted to interview me about  my book and new course (Blatant plug coming up – http://onelife-lifecoaching.co.uk/product/mindset-for-business-success-system/)

Anyway, we started with half an hour to spare and the sound didn’t work and the video was intermittent and neither of us had much idea about how to use it – we have learned from this experience, honest! We eventually started 20 minutes late and really enjoyed the experience! We had 18 people on the call, shared some information about my book, my course and my services and also did a live coaching session with someone that wanted to earn a large amount of money by providing financial advice to older people and couldn’t start his marketing. He was saying that he couldn’t find the right person, he didn’t have the right strategy so he couldn’t start. Wow – how timely!

It also takes me back to the videographers in the community that tell me I’m doing my business harm by putting out sub-standard videos. Maybe I am, but my purpose is to help everyone to reach their full potential and that would take a lot of money  to reach everyone! If I took notice of my imperfections, I tend to get stuck!

What causes perfectionism?

  • Events from the past where we’ve been criticized or things have gone wrong or we have been embarassed
  • Wish to live up to people’s expectations and even mind-reading what they expect
  • Thinking that we are not good enough
  • A fear of failure or of success
  • Not being ourselves
  • Negative people around us

 

So what are the solutions?

  • Surround yourself with A people – your true supportersst
  • Be confident about your Big Why – what are you doing the activity for?
  • Let go of any past events that make you worry about failure or success – it’s disabling and you can get very stuck and lose confidence and money!
  • Develop an empowering belief that connects you to your why – your purpose
  • Set some empowering goals
  • Just start and learn from the experience – after all, you are depriving people from getting to know you or your services and benefit from them

 

Here’s a set of 4 questions that you may have heard me use before that clarify the consequences of your behaviour.

  1. What would happen if you did take action?
  2. What would happen if you didn’t take action?
  3. What wouldn’t happen if you did take action?
  4. What wouldn’t happen if you didn’t take action?

Write down the answers to the above questions, ask yourself if you need help to move on and get in touch with me if you do!

Also remember that my on-line course is available at http://onelife-lifecoaching.co.uk/product/mindset-for-business-success-system/ and at the moment is half price – just 3 payments of £33. If you are reading this after the end of the offer, just e-mail me and I’ll give you a voucher code to get it at the price it is today!

Here’s to Imperfect Action!

Dr Bridget

 

 

 

8 Questions To Give You Clarity For The Next Year

Goal Setting That Works

Get clear for the next year

8 Questions To Give You Clarity For The Next Year

Its interesting, isn’t it, when things happen around you and you suddenly have a light bulb moment?  (and they don’t have to be big things!)

I had a significant birthday recently and a member of my team sent me a birthday card which talked about how you get more confused as you get older and I thought “Really???”. Of course the card was difficult to open but I then had this thought that “actually I get clearer as I get older”!

And then Prince Charles was on the television and as talking about how he had battled all of his life with getting people to see the point. He was talking about the Princes  Trust, which he set up and is passionate about – very clear!

So I thought I’d talk about clarity and give you a tool to help you get clear for the next year.

One dictionary definition is:

The ability to think clearly and not be confused And after all, clear thoughts and lack of confused internal chatter are part of getting success and happiness, aren’t they? Many of my clients come with so much turmoil in their heads, they find it difficult to take any action.

So here is the very simple tool:

There are 4 sections and within each of these, there is a towards question (what you want) and an away from question (what you dont want). This is because people are motivated by either moving towards something they want or away from what they don’t want. It a Meta Programme in NLP and an unconscious filter which  gets you results and, as I dont know what motivates you, I’ve included both.

[table id=9 /]

Now pick a date for each month and commit to one action to get the results. Review it on the same day of the next month and leave me comments. As always, if you are struggling, fill in the form here and you can get a free consultation with me  to get you going.

 

Dr Bridget – Giving you Prescriptions for Success

 

 

5 Tips on How To Stop Procrastination-Once And For All

 

How to Stop Procrastination Once and For All – 5 tips 

 

5 Tips for stopping procrastination,once and for all

5 Tips for stopping procrastination,once and for all

Procrastination – One of the biggest challenges my clients have is lack of effective action  which leads to frustration and lack of fulfillment. That’s why they get in touch with me, an NLP and life coach, because they know they need someone to help them to stop procrastination, once and for all. Elsie-Rose was about to write a blog and decided to have a nap instead! What do you do instead of what you need to do? Here are 5 tips for you to consider, reflect on and use  

 

Tip 1

Find your BIG WHY If you find yourself procrastinating and being easily distracted by things that don’t get you to your goal, ask yourself why you want to reach your goal in the 1st place.?What will your goal get you and what will that then get you? I can use myself as an example. When I stopped being a GP, the big why for starting my business was to avoid becoming bored. Now I know that I want to help people to reach their full potential  and also to enjoy every moment of every day –I know that’s my real BIG WHY!! My Purpose!

Tip 2

Make sure  you are motivated by what you want to do Knowing your Big Why for the goal for is a huge motivator and you will also have other things that motivate you (your values). Your goals will then flow towards you  “like butter on a hot crumpet” (a Strictly Come Dancing Quote). My motivators (values) are – enjoying every moment of every day, having fun, developing people and having a purpose. If I make sure that I “tick” those values or motivators, I find that I stop procrastination once and for all. If you are really serious about finding out what  your values are I’ve got a super, no strings attached bonus for you – its a 45 minute free consultation (worth £125) and I’m giving you this free as an ongoing member of my community! Here’s where you can access your free session 

Tip 3

Get a system of planning and prioritising Write down your goal and then ask yourself what needs to be in place for you to reach it, then what needs to be in place for you to reach that etc etc until you get to the 1st thing that you need to do. This is working backwards from your goal and is a very helpful system for planning. An example from my business is – if I want to run another mastermind group as a goal, working backwards, I then need to decide how many people I want for the group, I interview them, I  find them , put a date in the diary, decide what marketing to do and to commit to doing it. So the 1st thing for me is to commit to doing it , then to decide on my marketing, then to put a date in the diary, then find the people, then interview them. I hope that makes sense. Give me a ring if not on 07973 635102

Tip 4

Become efficient Once you know what you have to do, make sure that everything you do is going to move you closer to your goal. There are many systems that you can use – I like Eat  That Frog by Brian Tracy. Do the most important and often the most difficult thing 1st . Only do the things you’d like to do, when you have done the things you have to do. Delegate where possible. 

Work out what your perfect day is and monitor against it. – This is how I do this:-  Write down 5 things that you need to do every day to get you to your goal. Score yourself against it and reflect on your successes and challenges so that you do things consistently and efficiently. Mine would be along the lines of:- 

  •  Get up at 7:30
  •  Work on my business for 90 minutes
  •  Journal
  •  Have fun
  • Celebrate successes at the end of the day

Of course, I’d be seeing clients and networking and growing my list with social media and many other things as well, but if I had to pick 5 things that make a difference, the above would be on my list. How about you? Leave me a comment so that we can share what makes the difference.

Tip 5

Get someone to hold you accountable Hold yourself accountable by using your perfect day tool and journaling. Also feedback to someone that will challenge you if you haven’t done what you said you will do. I have a system of holding clients accountable which I agree with them and then prompt them. If you’d like to talk to me about How to Stop Procrastination, once and for all, access a free session here.

Here’s to no more housework and ironing! Or mowing the lawn or watching telly or some DIY. Unless of course, that’s what your goal is!!!

Till next time, be productive! And many thanks to Elsie- Rose for contributing to my post!

Dr Bridget