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How to Manage your Emotional State

 

How to Manage you Emotional State

Emotional state

Manage your Emotions

Hello – If you want to live your life to the full in a positive and resilient way, getting the success that you want and deserve, then managing your emotional state is key. As we’ve experienced over the last year, life sometimes happens around us in an unwanted manner and we can either become really negative or we can choose how to respond emotionally. We can also transmit a great emotional state to others which helps us in business and in our relationships and life in general.

As we know, our emotional state is created by our unconscious mind and therefore, we need to work at that level to  make changes. watch the video and then read some of my tips below it.

The way that we filter the information that comes into our senses uses our memories and experiences, our values or motivators and our beliefs. Also the language that we use to label our experiences and our metaprograms. These filters and the way that we use generalising, deleting and distorting create a reality  for us. This then leads to an emotional state. The second way that we create our emotional state is from our physiology. If we  go for a walk or a swim or do star jumps, for example, then our emotional state changes. If we sit hunched up, then we get different emotions. The third way that our emotional state is affected is by a feedback loop from our behaviour and our results. This feeds into our filters and so the loop goes on. So the main tip that I have for you is to get rid of any negative patterns that cause behaviours and get you results you don’t want.

Here are three other tips I have for changing a negative emotional state.

  1.  If you become aware of negativity , then look upwards. it’s difficult to feel negative when you do that.
  2. Use your peripheral vision – this is described in the video. It stops your negative chatter
  3. Step out of your reality. Look at yourself like a fly on the wall would and observe what you are doing and take lessons from that perspective.

All of these are very effective, and if you want to learn more techniques then get in touch. Sometimes we feel stuck and unable to change- if this is you, then we can change that very quickly.

Time Line therapy (R) gets rid of all of the negative emotional states and leaves you free to live your life in the way that you want to.

You can also learn these techniques by coming on an NLP course. Everyone that comes on a course leaves with positivity and a passion for living their life to the full as well as having skills to help others do just that.

Until next week-

Dr Bridget – removing negatives from your life.

 

Image by 🎄Merry Christmas 🎄 from Pixabay

10 People That You Can Support Right Now

Who are these people that you can support?

Support

Support

Hello – We need or like to have support at the best of times and in these challenging times where there is a lot of uncertainty, it’s even more important to be clear about who these people are who you can support and vice versa. While this is a great marketing idea- thanks to Ian Dixon for this – it also applies to our social circles as well. Watch the video and then work out who your 10 people are.


So who are the 5 people who you support and they support you? Let them know that they are one of your 5. Make sure that they are unconditionally a supporter of yours as you are of them. You’ll know what’s important to you.

 

Then think about who you would like to support now so that they become your supporters at the end of the period that is challenging. From a business marketing perspective, like their posts, have calls with them and do some research on them so that you are sure they are the people that you want to support. This also applies to our social circles as well. Maybe you’ve noticed people who seem to be those who are role models, potential clients, potential suppliers or all round good eggs. You’d like to get to know them at the moment and maybe do some other interactions with them in the future. Write down those 5 people and don’t tell them. Then, once you have got to know them and have developed that relationship, you can tell them that you’d like to work or socialise with them. Write them down on a list.

If you’d like me to be one of your supporters, there are plenty of places that you can follow me, or simply put your hand up and ask me how I can support you. 07973 635102 or contact me

Until next week

Dr Bridget, helping you wherever I can.

Here are the links for the some of the services that I provide:

 

How do you Maintain your Boundaries?

How do You Maintain Your Boundaries?

Boundaries

How do you keep your boundaries?

Hi – This prescription is something that I talk to my 1:1 clients about and those on my courses. This is because you can be in a really positive place and then something will lower your mood and undo all of the personal development that you have undertaken. And it’s important for you to consider boundaries as well!

First you need to know what a boundary is. A boundary is something that stops you from feeling positive and stops you from going where you are going. It can either be a person or an environment or something that you see on social media or the news. Maybe watching politics or disasters on the news or going to a networking event where you feel uncomfortable could be a boundary. I also know that there are people who suck my energy out of me- I call them mood hoovers- and they are boundaries for me.

Watch the video and then read under the video to decide what  your boundaries are and how to keep them.

Ask yourself:

  • What are your boundaries?
  • If you don’t know, make a list
  • Notice when you feel glum or your mood lowers
  • Let people know what your boundaries are.
  • Let go of the fear about telling people and if you can’t maybe they are a boundary.

Let me know if you can’t put a boundary in or can’t tell people about them as there is a liklehood that they will stop  you achieving what you want to achieve. And at some stage in the future you will wish  you had been firmer and put thoat boundary in.

Until next week,

Dr Bridget – helping you to get where you want.

P.S We are now booking for the next NLP courses whcih are in 3 months time

 

 

How to Develop your Recovery Strategy

Recovery Strategy

Recovery

Recovery Strategy

Hello!

It’s important to have a recovery strategy so that when life gets in the way and you feel negative emotions or eally low, you can recover from that quickly. I’ve had a lot of conversations with people recently, including during a supervision session of one of my NLP graduates. They were feeling low and full of self doubt because of something that had happened. I helped them develop a recovery strategy so that if it happened again, they would recover a great state of mind really quickly.

Have a look at the video and answer the questions below

So, I’m assuming you have goals and plans and know what’s important to you and have some boundaries? If not, have a look at some of my other videos or let me know you’d like a chat. Even when we have these, life happens around us and we can have a wobble or crisis. (I’ve been there). If you’ve worked with me, you will have unconscious strategies that will help and sometimes we need to make them conscious. Some people are reflectors and will go away and perhaps write things down and reflect and that will help. Other people will take action straight away – maybe reinforce boundaries, talk to people about how they feel, get rid of anything or anyone that is adding to the negativity. I do a mixture. When I think about it my strategy goes like this

Feel low  —   Acknowledge it — Think about the trigger — think about what has worked in the past —tell someone how I feel —- take action  —- feel empowered

So my questions for you are:

  1. Make sure you have compeeling goals and plans to get there
  2. Think about the reason or the trigger for feeling down
  3. Think about how you recover from that down
  4. Write it down
  5. Use it when needed – Rinse and repeat

If you need help, get in touch – contact form

If you’d like to learn new skills, get in touch- NLP courses

If you are stuck and can’t do this on your own, get in touch – Breakthrough therapy

 

 

 

Resilience – how to increase it

Resilience

Be Strong

Many of my blogs come from things that happen to me or my clients or in the world. Recently, I have had some events happen that have had the potential to cause me to put negative things in my thinking – I call them tests from the universe.  My clients have also had tests and have been in touch for support. I’ve done quite a few blogs in the past on resilience and thought it is so important for people. So I’m reiterating the main points

Watch the video and then think about the points below.
Diff MOW – values be

  • People have all got a different Model of the World with their own beliefs and values and behaviours. If you accept that and be curious rather than negative then that will help
  • Make sure that you are on the right train track – is your track heading  you towards your goals that you are totally invested in. If you are wishywashy, then at times of challenge, you won’t be able to use that strong pull towarfs your goals.
  • Notice when things are not going well by taking account of your physiology, body posture and your emotional state and doing something about it – its called having sensory acuity – we teach this on NLP courses.
  • Believe in yourself 10/10 and then take actions that are in line with that self belief
  • Surround yourself with people who you trust
  • And then simply keep going! Take the action towards your goals and enjoy life!

    If you have any issues or challenges with resilience and you want to run them past me, click here to book a free session. We can talk and find out whats going on and let you know how I can help.

    So – Take care, keep strong, go for it!
    Dr Bridget – here for you

Self Belief – Where Does it Come From?

Self Belief – It’s SO Important

Hello!

Self Belief is SO Important – for your life, your Business, your Career!

Self Belief

Self belief

Here’s the thing – If you don’t believe in yourself, then life is uncomfortable, you feel frustrated with yourself and always feel as though there is something more that’s stopping you feeling fulfilled. In short-you probably feel stuck!

Self Belief is an internal feeling that you can do whatever you want and, in this blog, I talk about 4 of the ways that you can increase your self belief. This means that you will be totally comfortable, calm and certain in your direction.

Watch the video below and then take the action needed. Book a free session if you need help

The 4 things that will help (and there are many others) are:

  1. Understand where a lack of self belief has come from. Think about your upbringing. Were you encouraged or not? Were you expected to get 100% in everything (but only achieved 95%)? Did you get laughed at or bullied? Remember that you may have put self doubt in your thinking during your life and that is IN THE PAST. You can simply decide you do believe in yourself and move forward. Again, this something that you’ve wired into your thinking and if you can’t remove it, I specialise in unsticking you so get in touch.
  2. Develop Resilience. Realise that you are in charge and that you can start over, change direction and have positive people around you. Start to re-frame your thoughts – if you think that  you aren’t good enough, look for examples where you are – for instance in your relationships or your hobbies and say to yourself ” I am good enough in lots of areas and I just need to make some changes in this one area”- That statement has a different feel to it doesn’t it?
  3. Start writing about your thoughts and feelings -be grateful for what you have achieved and reward yourself for your successes. It raises your awareness and you can start to decide different things and test them out. This is journaling and it isn’t difficult – just very helpful
  4. Get some positive people around you. Those that will support you no matter what. Find someone that you can ring if you have doubts- they may not be someone that you already know or they may be people that you do know – just test them out and develop a mutually supportive relationship. You’ll know when  you have one.

I have written a low cost e-book Re-writing your story which you can find here and don’t forget that you can get in touch for some support
My FB group -One Step Closer is somewhere where you can get further tips and support -I’d love to see you there.

Until next week, remember that I believe in you and you can as well!

Dr Bridget

The Importance of Talking about Your Negative Emotions

Negative Emotions – It’s useful to talk about them!

Negative emotionsThis is a really important topic! I was reading an article about  a study with people with phobias recently. The conclusion of the study was that the people who expressed their negative emotions and said what they were scared of  actually were less stressed as a result – I explain more in the video below.

I don’t know about you but I’ve always had a tendency to keep my emotions locked up. So if I hurt myself, I tend to push people away rather than saying how much it hurts and getting a hug.

I think we often do the same in business as well – if we are frightened about pushing forward, its a lot easier to just do something easy rather than saying “it’s scary” and getting help. Or if we are sad, we often don’t talk about it to other people and sometimes don’t grieve fully.

And the results of locking negative emotions away ( in a cupboard or a box or in the back of your mind) is that they can cause stress and dis-ease. In other words, depression anxiety , illnesses and general  un-wellness – even cancer.

This is because our thoughts and emotions are connected to all of our cells. All of our memories are in all of our cells and the impact of carrying negatives in our system can be huge. Not what we really want is it?

Watch the video and then read more below

The major negative emotions that you can experience are Anger, Sadness, Fear, Hurt and Guilt and most other negative emotions are sub sets of these.

So ask yourself whether you are suppressing any of these and just hoping that they stay suppressed? The problem is that you might be successful in that, or  maybe the cupboard door gets left open or the lid comes off the box or the thoughts move to the front of your mind – what do you think?

What can we do about it?

Make a decision to talk about them to a trusted friend or colleague and then see whether that makes the emotions more comfortable. If you have chronic pain, see if that is reduced by talking about the negative emotions.

If they really are very uncomfortable to you, get in touch with me here and I can talk you through how else I can help you to get rid of them. Time Line Therapy is a great tool which gets rid of these emotions in about 3 hours – the reason that I work with people!.

Until next week, Keep on talking about how you feel!

Dr Bridget

How to Get Things Out of Your Head

How to Get Things Out of Your Head

Getting things out of your head

Decluttering

You might have heard me talk about how I got “stuck” in the kitchen?. It was when there was so much going on in my head that there was no room for anything else- let alone a decision about what to do first!!! I recently talked to Jo Bendle at JoBendle.com. She was someone I’ve worked with for a while and was one of my first NLP Training clients. She’s now an amazing business person who travels the world, which is her passion, at the same time as helping people reach their goals by being productive and organised.

The tool that she gave me is called a “brain dump” and it is extremely effective and something I am doing weekly now. Listen to the video and take an hour to do this brain dump. It really helps to prioritise and get the important things done!!

So get a couple of pieces of paper and a pen, clear your diary , turn your phone and computer off and make a list of absolutely everything that you have to do. Absolutely everything that is in your head.  In detail! Keep your “sorting head” out of the way until you have put absolutely everything down. Brainstorm, put anything that comes into your head down and enjoy taking the time for yourself !!

Then, when you have everything down, your head will feel much clearer and you will feel calmer – honestly!

You will then be able to sort and prioritise and come up with your most important actions for the month, the week and the day.

I’m really interested to see how it goes for you – leave me some comments

Until next week, enjoy getting everything out of your head!

Dr Bridget

 

The 3 Things That Can Cause you to Lose your Resilience

Resilience – Never Give Up

How to become Resilient

Are you Resilient?

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from the overwhelming influence of risk factors and obstacles.

Watch the video below to find out the 3 categories of risk factors and obstacles that may cause you to lose your resilience, and get in touch with me if you want to overcome the factors that you feel you are not in control of.

And of course there is a whole chapter about resilience in my book Mindset for Business Success (a useful workbook for anyone in who wants to reach their full potential). The majority of my videos also give you tips to become resilient.


The 3 groups of things that cause us to lose our resilience are:

  • Material things
  • Events and Circumstances
  • Self Induced

Listening to the video will raise your awareness about how our interpretation of the Material obstacles can actually fall into the Self Induced category. They can come from limiting beliefs such as “I can’t be successful in case it affects my health”. “I can’t do x , y or z because I don’t have any money” or “my family wouldn’t approve”.

The ability to deal with Events and Circumstances that happen around us is key.

Recently in the UK we have had Brexit which has made some people quite ill.

They feel as though they have lost control over their future. However, if you are resilient, have self belief, confidence and take action towards what you really want, you will definitely be in control of your future.

I’m wondering if you would be interested in reading my book? it is available here as a free download from my web site or you can buy it on Amazon in hard copy or on kindle. Its a work book with a whole chapter on Resilience and gives you prescriptions for success.

Finally – maybe you have lost your resilience? If this is the case, contact me for a free consultation to start the journey of change. I am on on 01656  347027 or 07973 635102.

Till next week, enjoy the “becoming resilient” journey!

Dr Bridget

 

 

 

How to stop anxiety and improve your success

How to stop anxiety and improve your success

How to stop anxiety

Everyone gets anxiety

One of my NLP Practitioner  students asked me how to stop anxiety that her children had when they went to interviews. She wanted to know how to use NLP to make a difference. It struck me that it would be great to share my thoughts with you! I know that I suffer some mild anxiety in certain situations (usually around organisation of my business) and I use the techniques in this post to help.

Remember that “Anxiety is a warning from the unconscious mind to focus on what you want” Tad James

1)      Make sure that you are not suffering with fear from events in the past – this can lead to limiting beliefs and negative hooks to events. These can be easily resolved using NLP and is very easy to do.  Anxiety about specific events is future based and can be present without fear from the past.

2)      Ask yourself whether the event that you are anxious about is something that you need to do on the way to really important goals for you. I had a client recently who was anxious about meeting someone who had a reputation of being aggressive and she was concerned and quite anxious about this. However, when we talked through her goals, it turned out that it wasn’t important to meet the person for her goals and was more important for her to do other things that would be really helpful. She cancelled the meeting and felt fine about it. By the way; she reached her goals really quickly by reminding herself of them.

3)      Find out what the problem is in order to find out how to stop anxiety. So consider the statement “I’m worried about the interview”. If you ask What specifically are you worried about? The answer could be:-

  •  I don’t know enough
  •  I don’t know if I’ m good enough (fear of failure or needing someone to tell them they do a good job or lack of self- belief)
  •  I don’t know if it’s the right job for me  (Not knowing what important in a job for them (values) or whether it suits how they work )
  • I might have to do something I don’t, deep down, want to do if I get the job (It’s better not to get it)
  •  What will people think if I don’t get the job? (Concern about Reputation)
  •  What will people think if I do get the job? (Fear of success)

Acknowledging what the problem is , is a great start resolving it!

4)      Knowing the purpose of the anxiety is also useful. There is always a purpose and it’s often about keeping yourself safe. The unconscious mind’s main function is to protect you and this is useful but frustrating at times. Have you ever noticed a situation where you know what you want and what you need to do, but your unconscious mind (that voice) keeps nudging you and saying “remember what happened last time or what people said – wouldn’t you be better not doing it?” Working through how else you can protect yourself is the way to overcome this.

How to stop anxiety

1)      If you have fear from events that happened in the past, speak to me about it if it is stopping you from moving forward. Maybe you could say to yourself, the past is the past and I can move on and be the best I can be now and in the future. Maybeyou will need help to work this through. Access a free session here to discuss this.

2)      Make sure that you have goals that are specific and ask yourself, does what I’m anxious about get me towards them? Make sure your goals are always where you notice them – on a vision board, in your journal, on your screen saver, securely in your mind.

3)      Work out what is important to you – your core values so that you can measure what you are planning to do against them. There is One Key Question that you can ask (link to blog about this)

4)      Discover what the real problem is – be honest with yourself. Have a think and fill a form in here if you want to talk through the problem

5)      Acknowledge the unconscious mind’s wish to keep you safe and realise that there are many ways of keeping you safe, including going for your goals and what you want in life! Your unconscious mind will agree with you and relax.

6)      Anxiety is on the same spectrum of moods as excitement. So you can try turning up your mild anxiety and noticing  that you become excited about the event

7)      Speak to me about what specific anxiety techniques I can help you with that you will find helpful.

Consider undertaking NLP Practitioner training

My trainings include coaching to get you to the outcomes that you want and you will learn about:-

  • Compelling goal setting – how to MAKE SURE you get what you want
  • Values- what’s important to you
  • How your mind works
  • Techniques to  avoid internal conflict
  • Removing limitations from your mind
  • Communicating with yourself and others in an effective way.
  • And overcoming anxiety of course!

Here’s the link to have a chat with me about the value to you of doing the course.

 

 

DIG DEEP! get those resources out!

Question?

How do you carry on when you’re totally exhausted and are finding it difficult to get up one more time in the night, phone one more client or play with your kids?

Whatever it is that you want to do and are too exhausted to do – read on!

I was given a book by Renee’ Brown by my coach. It was called the Gifts of Imperfection and it has inspired me to share one of her tips with you!

You DIG” DEEP

So when you are in this situation where you are overwhelmed and exhausted:-

D DELIBERATE YOUR THOUGHTS AND BEHAVIOURS. This can be through meditation,  mindfulness or simply by making a decision that this is going to be how it is – Called setting your intention
I BECOME INSPIRED TO MAKE NEW AND DIFFERENT CHOICES -You’ve always got choices – the trick is to take a step back and get them clear in your mind
G GET GOING -Take action on your choice. It always gets better then!

So- I’ve done that today!

I’d been up since 5am to go to a meeting, then had a 2 hour coaching session with a client, 50 miles away. and then we were due to go to London for a course I was doing. When we tried to start the motor home, it was completely DEAD! So I realised I had to DIG DEEP and that “keeping calm and carrying on” was probably not quite enough. My preference at the time was to have a prolonged scream!!

So I decided to do something useful, looked at my choices, got the book out and thought – “I should tell others about this”

So here it is!! Hope its useful to you. I’m off to sleep now so catch you up soon!

HAPPY DIGGING

Bridget