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Negative emotions

The Importance of Talking about Your Negative Emotions

Negative Emotions – It’s useful to talk about them!

Negative emotionsThis is a really important topic! I was reading an article about  a study with people with phobias recently. The conclusion of the study was that the people who expressed their negative emotions and said what they were scared of  actually were less stressed as a result – I explain more in the video below.

I don’t know about you but I’ve always had a tendency to keep my emotions locked up. So if I hurt myself, I tend to push people away rather than saying how much it hurts and getting a hug.

I think we often do the same in business as well – if we are frightened about pushing forward, its a lot easier to just do something easy rather than saying “it’s scary” and getting help. Or if we are sad, we often don’t talk about it to other people and sometimes don’t grieve fully.

And the results of locking negative emotions away ( in a cupboard or a box or in the back of your mind) is that they can cause stress and dis-ease. In other words, depression anxiety , illnesses and general  un-wellness – even cancer.

This is because our thoughts and emotions are connected to all of our cells. All of our memories are in all of our cells and the impact of carrying negatives in our system can be huge. Not what we really want is it?

Watch the video and then read more below

The major negative emotions that you can experience are Anger, Sadness, Fear, Hurt and Guilt and most other negative emotions are sub sets of these.

So ask yourself whether you are suppressing any of these and just hoping that they stay suppressed? The problem is that you might be successful in that, or  maybe the cupboard door gets left open or the lid comes off the box or the thoughts move to the front of your mind – what do you think?

What can we do about it?

Make a decision to talk about them to a trusted friend or colleague and then see whether that makes the emotions more comfortable. If you have chronic pain, see if that is reduced by talking about the negative emotions.

If they really are very uncomfortable to you, get in touch with me here and I can talk you through how else I can help you to get rid of them. Time Line Therapy is a great tool which gets rid of these emotions in about 3 hours – the reason that I work with people!.

Until next week, Keep on talking about how you feel!

Dr Bridget

Getting things out of your head

How to Get Things Out of Your Head

How to Get Things Out of Your Head

Getting things out of your head

Decluttering

You might have heard me talk about how I got “stuck” in the kitchen?. It was when there was so much going on in my head that there was no room for anything else- let alone a decision about what to do first!!! I recently talked to Jo Bendle at JoBendle.com. She was someone I’ve worked with for a while and was one of my first NLP Training clients. She’s now an amazing business person who travels the world, which is her passion, at the same time as helping people reach their goals by being productive and organised.

The tool that she gave me is called a “brain dump” and it is extremely effective and something I am doing weekly now. Listen to the video and take an hour to do this brain dump. It really helps to prioritise and get the important things done!!

So get a couple of pieces of paper and a pen, clear your diary , turn your phone and computer off and make a list of absolutely everything that you have to do. Absolutely everything that is in your head.  In detail! Keep your “sorting head” out of the way until you have put absolutely everything down. Brainstorm, put anything that comes into your head down and enjoy taking the time for yourself !!

Then, when you have everything down, your head will feel much clearer and you will feel calmer – honestly!

You will then be able to sort and prioritise and come up with your most important actions for the month, the week and the day.

I’m really interested to see how it goes for you – leave me some comments

Until next week, enjoy getting everything out of your head!

Dr Bridget

 

How to become Resilient

The 3 Things That Can Cause you to Lose your Resilience

Resilience – Never Give Up

How to become Resilient

Are you Resilient?

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from the overwhelming influence of risk factors and obstacles.

Watch the video below to find out the 3 categories of risk factors and obstacles that may cause you to lose your resilience, and get in touch with me if you want to overcome the factors that you feel you are not in control of.

And of course there is a whole chapter about resilience in my book Mindset for Business Success (a useful workbook for anyone in who wants to reach their full potential). The majority of my videos also give you tips to become resilient.


The 3 groups of things that cause us to lose our resilience are:

  • Material things
  • Events and Circumstances
  • Self Induced

Listening to the video will raise your awareness about how our interpretation of the Material obstacles can actually fall into the Self Induced category. They can come from limiting beliefs such as “I can’t be successful in case it affects my health”. “I can’t do x , y or z because I don’t have any money” or “my family wouldn’t approve”.

The ability to deal with Events and Circumstances that happen around us is key.

Recently in the UK we have had Brexit which has made some people quite ill.

They feel as though they have lost control over their future. However, if you are resilient, have self belief, confidence and take action towards what you really want, you will definitely be in control of your future.

I’m wondering if you would be interested in reading my book? it is available here as a free download from my web site or you can buy it on Amazon in hard copy or on kindle. Its a work book with a whole chapter on Resilience and gives you prescriptions for success.

Finally – maybe you have lost your resilience? If this is the case, contact me for a free consultation to start the journey of change. I am on on 01656  347027 or 07973 635102.

Till next week, enjoy the “becoming resilient” journey!

Dr Bridget

 

 

 

How to stop anxiety and improve your success

How to stop anxiety and improve your success

How to stop anxiety

Everyone gets anxiety

One of my NLP Practitioner  students asked me how to stop anxiety that her children had when they went to interviews. She wanted to know how to use NLP to make a difference. It struck me that it would be great to share my thoughts with you! I know that I suffer some mild anxiety in certain situations (usually around organisation of my business) and I use the techniques in this post to help.

Remember that “Anxiety is a warning from the unconscious mind to focus on what you want” Tad James

1)      Make sure that you are not suffering with fear from events in the past – this can lead to limiting beliefs and negative hooks to events. These can be easily resolved using NLP and is very easy to do.  Anxiety about specific events is future based and can be present without fear from the past.

2)      Ask yourself whether the event that you are anxious about is something that you need to do on the way to really important goals for you. I had a client recently who was anxious about meeting someone who had a reputation of being aggressive and she was concerned and quite anxious about this. However, when we talked through her goals, it turned out that it wasn’t important to meet the person for her goals and was more important for her to do other things that would be really helpful. She cancelled the meeting and felt fine about it. By the way; she reached her goals really quickly by reminding herself of them.

3)      Find out what the problem is in order to find out how to stop anxiety. So consider the statement “I’m worried about the interview”. If you ask What specifically are you worried about? The answer could be:-

  •  I don’t know enough
  •  I don’t know if I’ m good enough (fear of failure or needing someone to tell them they do a good job or lack of self- belief)
  •  I don’t know if it’s the right job for me  (Not knowing what important in a job for them (values) or whether it suits how they work )
  • I might have to do something I don’t, deep down, want to do if I get the job (It’s better not to get it)
  •  What will people think if I don’t get the job? (Concern about Reputation)
  •  What will people think if I do get the job? (Fear of success)

Acknowledging what the problem is , is a great start resolving it!

4)      Knowing the purpose of the anxiety is also useful. There is always a purpose and it’s often about keeping yourself safe. The unconscious mind’s main function is to protect you and this is useful but frustrating at times. Have you ever noticed a situation where you know what you want and what you need to do, but your unconscious mind (that voice) keeps nudging you and saying “remember what happened last time or what people said – wouldn’t you be better not doing it?” Working through how else you can protect yourself is the way to overcome this.

How to stop anxiety

1)      If you have fear from events that happened in the past, speak to me about it if it is stopping you from moving forward. Maybe you could say to yourself, the past is the past and I can move on and be the best I can be now and in the future. Maybeyou will need help to work this through. Access a free session here to discuss this.

2)      Make sure that you have goals that are specific and ask yourself, does what I’m anxious about get me towards them? Make sure your goals are always where you notice them – on a vision board, in your journal, on your screen saver, securely in your mind.

3)      Work out what is important to you – your core values so that you can measure what you are planning to do against them. There is One Key Question that you can ask (link to blog about this)

4)      Discover what the real problem is – be honest with yourself. Have a think and fill a form in here if you want to talk through the problem

5)      Acknowledge the unconscious mind’s wish to keep you safe and realise that there are many ways of keeping you safe, including going for your goals and what you want in life! Your unconscious mind will agree with you and relax.

6)      Anxiety is on the same spectrum of moods as excitement. So you can try turning up your mild anxiety and noticing  that you become excited about the event

7)      Speak to me about what specific anxiety techniques I can help you with that you will find helpful.

Consider undertaking NLP Practitioner training

My trainings include coaching to get you to the outcomes that you want and you will learn about:-

  • Compelling goal setting – how to MAKE SURE you get what you want
  • Values- what’s important to you
  • How your mind works
  • Techniques to  avoid internal conflict
  • Removing limitations from your mind
  • Communicating with yourself and others in an effective way.
  • And overcoming anxiety of course!

Here’s the link to have a chat with me about the value to you of doing the course.

 

 

DIG DEEP! get those resources out!

Question?

How do you carry on when you’re totally exhausted and are finding it difficult to get up one more time in the night, phone one more client or play with your kids?

Whatever it is that you want to do and are too exhausted to do – read on!

I was given a book by Renee’ Brown by my coach. It was called the Gifts of Imperfection and it has inspired me to share one of her tips with you!

You DIG” DEEP

So when you are in this situation where you are overwhelmed and exhausted:-

D DELIBERATE YOUR THOUGHTS AND BEHAVIOURS. This can be through meditation,  mindfulness or simply by making a decision that this is going to be how it is – Called setting your intention
I BECOME INSPIRED TO MAKE NEW AND DIFFERENT CHOICES -You’ve always got choices – the trick is to take a step back and get them clear in your mind
G GET GOING -Take action on your choice. It always gets better then!

So- I’ve done that today!

I’d been up since 5am to go to a meeting, then had a 2 hour coaching session with a client, 50 miles away. and then we were due to go to London for a course I was doing. When we tried to start the motor home, it was completely DEAD! So I realised I had to DIG DEEP and that “keeping calm and carrying on” was probably not quite enough. My preference at the time was to have a prolonged scream!!

So I decided to do something useful, looked at my choices, got the book out and thought – “I should tell others about this”

So here it is!! Hope its useful to you. I’m off to sleep now so catch you up soon!

HAPPY DIGGING

Bridget