I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about it- the effect that your language can have on both you and other people? There’s a saying in NLP- “You cannot not communicate”. Every time you say something, you change the other person’s perception of the world and the “picture” in their head and yours. I want to raise your awareness today of a specific language pattern that can be unhelpful at some times. Watch the video and then think about how you equate yourself to unhelpful things.
The pattern that I am talking about in the video is called a Complex equivalence. So if A=B, then B=A. If A is you, then equating things to you can be unhelpful. This particularly applies to illnesses and limiting statements. here are some of them:
- I am Diabetic
- I am a Cancer sufferer
- I am Depressed
- I am Useless
- I am a Nuisance
- I’m just a Housewife
- I am in pieces
- My husband/wife/partner is part of me
These statements create a reality for yourself and those who hear what you say.
If you are interested in learning more about your language and how to influence others, book onto an NLP Practitioner course to really change- click here for details
Here are a couple of ways of changing this:
- Make the statement about doing a behaviour rather than about being equivalent to you
- I am doing poor blood sugar control
- I am doing the symptoms of cancer
- I am doing depression
- I am doing useless behaviour
- I am doing the functions of a housewife
This makes it easier to stop doing the behaviour, whereas it’s quite difficult to stop something that is the equivalent to you.
2. Ask yourself “is that all you are?”
What is that you are that’s not just Diabetic, not just a Cancer sufferer, not just Depressed, not just Useless, not just a Housewife, not just part of your Husband, not just in Pieces?
So if we take the example of I’m just a housewife.
Ask “So, is that all that you are?” “What are you that is not just a housewife?” You will probably be able to get the answer of:
- “I’m a good wife”
- I’m a good mother”
- “I’m a kind person”
- “I’m me and I like me”
Totally different perspectives!
There’s a short PDF here to help you to think about the language that you are using in this respect. Click here I am…….
Let me know your thoughts on this unusual topic and let me know if you have equated yourself to something unhelpful and can’t change it. 07973 635102 or click here to talk to me
Until next week, keep noticing the words that you use!