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Language patterns

A Common Language Pattern That Can Be Unhelpful

Language patterns

Language patterns

The Language We Use

I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about it- the effect that your language can have on both you and other people? There’s a saying in NLP- “You cannot not communicate”. Every time you say something, you change the other person’s perception of the world and the “picture” in their head and yours. I want to raise your awareness today of a specific language pattern that can be unhelpful at some times. Watch the video and then think about how you equate yourself to unhelpful things.

The pattern that I am talking about in the video is called a Complex equivalence. So if A=B, then B=A. If A is you, then equating things to you can be unhelpful. This particularly applies to illnesses and limiting statements. here are some of them:

  • I am Diabetic
  • I am a Cancer sufferer
  • I am Depressed
  • I am Useless
  • I am a Nuisance
  • I’m just a Housewife
  • I am in pieces
  • My husband/wife/partner is part of me

These statements create a reality for yourself and those who hear what you say.

If you are interested in learning more about your language and how to influence others, book onto an NLP Practitioner course to really change- click here for details 

Here are a couple of ways of changing this:

  1. Make the statement about doing a behaviour rather than about being equivalent to you
  • I am doing poor blood sugar control
  • I am doing the symptoms of cancer
  • I am doing depression
  • I am doing useless behaviour
  • I am doing the functions of a housewife

This makes it easier to stop doing the behaviour, whereas it’s quite difficult to stop something that is the equivalent to you.

2. Ask yourself “is that all you are?”

What is that you are that’s not just Diabetic, not just a Cancer sufferer, not just Depressed, not just Useless, not just a Housewife, not just part of your Husband, not just in Pieces?

So if we take the example of I’m just a housewife.

Ask “So, is that all that you are?” “What are you that is not just a housewife?” You will probably be able to get the answer of:

  • “I’m a good wife”
  • I’m a good mother”
  • “I’m a kind person”
  • “I’m me and I like me”

Totally different perspectives!

There’s a short PDF here to help you to think about the language that you are using in this respect.  Click here I am…….

Let me know your thoughts on this unusual topic and let me know if you have equated yourself to something unhelpful and can’t change it. 07973 635102 or click here to talk to me 

Until next week, keep noticing the words that you use!

Dr Bridget

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What happens When You Don’t Take Time Out

Taking time out

Taking time out became the topic for this video as I talked to my videographer – Chris Davies from Colour Black Productions – during our most recent filming session of my Prescriptions for Success videos.

We’d both become very busy as a result of raising our profile and the conversation was about how, or should, we be taking time off to reflect. We realised that taking time out, allows you to plan, reflect, congratulate yourself and keep an eye on your journey towards your goals. If you don’t take the time, you can become a victim of “busyness” and lose sight of where you are heading and forget how far you have come.

One of the main reasons for people seeking coaching and mastermind group support is to be able to take that time out and regain focus of their path to success and their goals. The results of doing this are absolutely enormous! The focus and consistency it provides become what you do! And that is what gets you the results.

Watch the video below within which I discuss this further. If you would like to escape the “busyness” and re-focus on your gals, you can click here to fill in a form for a FREE consultation.

If you are looking for an easy and quick fix, I would suggest committing to taking half an hour a day to plan or reflect on your day and what the next one will bring – it can be very empowering (and also calming).

Make sure that your plans line up to what you want in your life and let me know the effects the time-out has and if it empowers you.

If you are struggling with this concept and don’t know what to do, call me on 07973 635102 or 01656 347027 and we can chat it through and work out a path for you.

Until next week, enjoy your time-out,

Dr. Bridget

Do You Have Internal Conflict? This is one of the causes

One of the most common causes for internal conflict is something called PARTS ( in NLP terminology)

Mental Conflict

Internal Conflict

Just like you, I have faced internal battles. I remember sitting in front of my computer with this battle in my head going “part of me wants to be successful but part of me wants to do nothing at all”. I’d just started my NLP coaching business and I was struggling. Luckily, I was able to resolve this issue with my coach quite quickly.

Now, it is my role to help people with this internal struggle, and I want to share the cause for this common problem with you and raise awareness of this solvable problem.

In NLP, this conflict is known as “Parts”, because it is as if we have two parts to ourselves, which want different things. It usually arises from a significant negative emotional event which is either one big event or several small ones fairly close together.

For example, a recent client found herself in this battle after having just been made redundant following a complaint, losing her dad about the same time and having one of her children spend a week in hospital with a serious illness. All these negative events had caused part of her to steer away from her want to be successful in her new business, and focus on the want of some peace in her life. That is when she came to me for help.

I helped her put the conflict to rest and focus on what she really wanted.

“Parts” have their own personality and are generally formed to help protect you, but in doing so, they can cause conflicts with other parts of your brain – a sort of Mental Tug of War.

In this week’s Prescription for Success video below, I discuss ‘parts’ and the effects internal conflict can have.

If you want to talk about any type of internal conflict that may be stopping you from gaining success in your life or your business, then give me a call on 07973 635102 or 01656 347027. Or click here to fill out a form and I’ll be in touch very quickly.

If you are interested in this topic and NLP, I run NLP Practitioner courses, where you can learn how to not only resolve this issue for yourself, but for others too. Click here for more info on my NLP Practitioner courses.

Part of me would like to keep writing the blog and part of me wants to get some lunch so, until next time, go for what you want in life!

Dr. Bridget

Don’t stress it!

stress-blogStress is extremely common. It can have physical and psychological effects which generally ‘bring you down’.

Life can be stressful. Whether it’s work, family or money worries, we all have a lot going on in our lives, so it’s no surprise we feel burnt out from time to time. But stress is not good for our emotional state.

Generally, people don’t take measures to reduce stress.  And whilst you can’t stop stress completely, you can learn how to notice the signs and help yourself overcome it. Here are my top tips:

  1. Deep breaths

If you are feeling completely overwhelmed, being able to take your mind out of the situation even for a few minutes can help you relax and gain clarity. When we are anxious or stressed our breathing becomes quick and shallow. Give your breathing your full attention, concentrating on each breath in and out. Take your time to breath in deeply for a count of 7, hold and breath out for a count of 11. Repeat this process until you feel more calm.

  1. Be kind to yourself

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. Our inner voices can be mean and hurtful. It’s important to recognise this and ensure you are positively reinforcing yourself and how you feel. Treat yourself with kindness, negative thoughts are extremely unhelpful and can do more damage. Tell yourself you’re in control and you’re able to deal with the situation!

  1. Don’t allow yourself to become a victim

Things happen that are out of our control, but by asking “why me?” or “what have I done to deserve this?” only places yourself as a victim. This increases stress and suggests you are unable to change the situation. Instead, recognise this negative thing has happened but tell yourself you are able to turn it around and change it.

  1. Say ‘No’

Not wanting to say no to people is very common. A lot of people have a problem with it as they don’t want to upset someone or let them down. But sometimes you have to put yourself before others. It is impossible to please everyone and trying to do so is a fast track to stress. By saying ‘no’ you are not being selfish, you are just looking after yourself and your mental health. Be honest with people and they will understand.

If you are struggling with stress and feeling unhappy, contact me and I’ll help you overcome your anxiety and emotional state, allowing you to find happiness and at peace with yourself. Click here to book a FREE consultation or call me on: 07973 635102

Why do we lose our motivation? And what can we do to recover it?

Why do we lose our motivation?

Motivation and values

Find your motivation!

Not feeling motivated? This post is for you.

I recently realised that I was struggling with my motivation, particularly regarding my business and health, and this caused a bit of what I call “flip-flopping”! So, this week I have decided to focus on motivation and help you make sure that you are fully motivated in all areas of your life and in particular, the ones that are most important to you.

What is motivation?

Motivation is driven by our values, which we hold on an unconscious level. And our values can be affected by our beliefs. This means that as we grow and experience situations, positive and negative, it can change our values, which isn’t always useful.

My business values used to be Intrigue, Interest, Fun and Purpose. Although they felt OK, there wasn’t much movement in them to make me want to take action. Whilst I do have a successful business, there is also room for it to grow and allowing me to reach many more people!

I realized I needed to do something about this and set about changing my values. To do this I had to start with the limiting beliefs that were supporting my values. Once I changed those beliefs, with the help of my coach, my values changed and felt so much more suited to my businesses and me. And most importantly, my motivation is back and I am taking more action!

My business’ values are now Determination, Fun, Achievement and Purpose. Because I’ve got something as strong as determination at the top of my motivators, I’ve stopped doing the “flip-flopping” and am very determined!

Watch the video below where I discuss my motivation. If you are feeling demotivated, then get in touch today – just click here.

Are you fully focused and motivated? If not, what is that be costing you, emotionally and financially?

Give me a ring on 01656 347027 or 07973 635102 to book a FREE consultation with Dr. Bridget and start your journey of discovery and success.

Until next time, keep that motivation up!

Dr. Bridget